I lay down and thought about what life would be like when I had the future I was fighting for. I thought about it until I fell asleep, and dreamed strange dreams. I woke up and continued thinking. 

I may need to draw a distinction between comfort and passion. I want to be comfortable. But the comfort I dreamed of seems soft but sterile, peaceful but lonely. Maybe this is the other side of the coin. 

What balances this? What brings colour to life? It would be nice to love and be loved, of course. 

I would like to create beauty. It rings deep and true. People may say it is fleeting and ephemeral; is not life the same? Real beauty is born of something great. It rekindles awe... and the experience can touch your soul.