And sometimes I remember what I said, about opportunity and capabilities aligning and that perhaps there are such things as higher purposes. 

It's bullshit, though, isn't it? 

I can hear the music; I can feel the beat of my own heart. So of course I know.

The question is, is it a necessary lie? 

The question is, upon lying do we start a slow death, or do we buy necessary time? 

What would that chubby-cheeked little girl with a wicked glint in her eye say?

And that brings me back to a quote from September Love, by Lang Leav, which is a truly beautiful book. 

"It was all there before me like an open book, but I still didn't know what to do, even though I already knew."