So when did I start to do this thing, start to change? Become more...whoever I am today. 

Was it when I learned to say what I thought, see the change it caused, and believe in myself? 

Was it when I learned that there are truly bad people in the world? Innocence lost. 

Was it...when I learned about sudden and unmerciful strikes of fate? 

Was it when I stared at the ceiling in a certain sort of despair and wondered why, how, and just watched my thoughts swirl in chaos. 

Was it when N listened to me and talked to me about life? 

Was it when Raghu took me under his wing and became my role model? 

Was it when I caught something the primary team missed - when I was dead tired, and it was the middle of the night? 

Was it when I brought order to chaos, and learned to believe, just a little, in myself? 

Was it when I stood up for myself and said, yeah I fucked up, but I can learn, slowly, to love me again. And I worked hard at it. 

Was it when I talked and talked and talked and you just looked at me and listened, and it felt like I had said something important, that I mattered? 

Was it when I walked to the counter, paid, looked back, and you were sitting there with your arms on the table, looking straight at me, unabashedly, wearing a small smile on your face? 

Was it when I learned that I am my own person. Even though I'm weak and sometimes stupid and indecisive. I am my Own. Damn. Person. 

Was it when, after battling with images in my head that I didn't want to have, I was able to tell you that life is still beautiful, still has hope and good things. And that I was glad to be alive. 

There's no one point. No big thing. So many small things, chances, unexpected conversations and people. 

Thank you. Whoever is up there. Thank you for all of them.