Being with myself used to be a lot more comfortable. 

Even while I felt sick of the dumb things I did, those feelings came and went. 

Now, it's not the dumb things I did. It's all the times I didn't listen to myself. Didn't stand up for what I really knew was right. Now is the reckoning, I suppose. 

It's not such a bad thing. OK, it sucks. But it gets better from here. 

I've changed. It's strange. I wonder how I changed without realising.