And by the way, I've thought about this for years but haven't gotten anywhere, so why not write about it now when I figure no sleep will work out better than 4 hours of sleep (this is definitely wrong).

I kind of like it when I'm protected. Like when someone nasty is making an inappropriate joke and includes me in it, or when someone calls me out on a group chat for something that...

I don't stand up for myself very well (I'm learning!!...sigh) and so when someone does it for me, I really appreciate it.

But there's this line where, when someone starts telling me what to do, telling me how I should do something and in any way tries to control my life, I hate it. I drop them and leave. I generally bend up till a certain point, and then I hate them silently, avoid them as much as I can, and treat them/their words like air if I can't avoid them.

But then when someone is forceful (occasionally) I kind of like it?

I guess I'm looking for the impossible: someone who knows me well enough to be able to step in when I need it, but can be forceful in the things which I don't mind being forced.

Which is like... this would all be simple if I was able to say, don't force me here. And, I'm ok being pushed here. But I guess...

Idk, I get along well with the quiet/observant types, who can sense pretty fast where to draw the line.

The loud types are just trash.

And by the way, I know (some) rich people. And they don't all talk about money. I have never met someone so boring who just talks about money, cars, blah. I didn't think those stereotypes actually existed.

And the proselytizing stereotype. It exists. Oh my god.