Monday, July 4, 2016

when what I'm reading influences how I speak

Yes; it is a sad song.

Have you ever wondered about choice? When we settle upon a decision, we tell ourselves that that is the end of it - the choice is made. In fact, all we've done is touched upon what we idealistically want. The choices we make are often not so straightforward; the path branches out in a hundred different directions, and we take a circuitous route to the end, picking up some things along the way, and losing others.

A choice is when we say: this is what I want, or must accomplish, or set for myself. What actually happens is that we gain in unexpected areas, and lose what we never knew we had; we find ourselves thrown with no notice into uncharted waters - into a sea which seemed a thousand miles distant - "what is this," we ask, "how can this be? This is not even related to what I set out to do, but it is now set upon me."

That's why, I think, habits insinuate themselves into our lives. Familiarity softens the blow of the all-too-inevitable unexpected. And if we accumulate enough habits, without knowing it we've manufactured a sort of paralysis for ourselves, as welcome as it is unobtrusive and unnoticed. It protects us from the fear of making new choices, and it's an understandable fear, because who wants to be thrown to sea out of the blue?

Nobody wants pain; but you have to admit there is something to be said for experience, and for good stories to tell. Apart from that, I'm not now able to enter into the deeper discussions of life, human experience, feelings, worthiness, and destiny.

Nujabes - aruarian dance + rainy mood 

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