I am envious of musicians. I love music and what it can make me feel, the states it can transport me to. 

I have never had the patience or persistent to learn an instrument to mastery. I couldn't imagine spending all that time on lessons when I could have been reading books, watching anime. 

But when I see and hear a person bring an instrument to life, I remember what I gave up. 

To be honest, it's not as though books and anime haven't brought me valuable insights. When the car flipped, a line from Ender's Game came to mind and I raised my arm and maybe that's what broke my hand and saved my life. 

But I guess I've got to let it go. Books gave me something. And so did medicine. If I'm unhappy, I can go and learn an instrument, and persist this time.