It feels like having to swim and keep my head above water. And I have to do that because I have (a few) responsibilities. 

But what if I just stopped swimming? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Maybe after the initial panic my feet would find solid ground. Maybe I've been struggling just off the shore. 

Of course, maybe I would drown. But would that be so bad? It's happened before; I'm still here. Maybe I could go underwater. See and feel the things you only see and feel there.