Thursday, July 5, 2018

I didn't want to disappoint you. So much. To the point that I wish I never learned to admire you, that I didn't have to feel this shame.

But it was a good month, wasn't it? I learned a lot under you. Thanks.

I'm sorry

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I know that when we're under a lot of pressure we tend to develop tunnel vision. We start focusing on small things and missing the bigger picture. The A&E peeps have protocols and debriefs that target this. They make sure the guy calling the shots stands at the foot of the bed, and his job is not to do the primary or secondary survey, but to stand there, take in all the info, and make the right decision.

I think learning to take a step back is an acquired skill, but I think naturally when I concentrate I tend to shut out everything else, and focus on what I'm doing. I don't see you standing there. It takes me a great amount of effort to hear you, and I have to stretch that bubble, and I can't work as fast.

I hate it when you talk under the pretense of doing work, when actually you're just talking...under the pretense of doing work. You didn't do jackshit, did you? I hate people like you. Even if you want to slack off, then just shut up can't you? If you don't want to do anything, then the least you could do is not bother me.

Well, I did ignore you almost throughout. Next time I'll voice out that I can't concentrate, and ignore you 100%


And you shouldn't ask people to do things if you're not sure. You shouldn't delegate things when you don't know how it should be done.

Don't you just like telling people to do things?

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I miss rayray.


Tomorrow I have a date with a husky! My mom's friend has a bbq and he has a husky. Coincidentally I have leave tmr too (but still no weekend...why...no weekend...WHY...) so I'll go to see that dawg!


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