And what's more (there's always more, if I become famous all these blog posts are going to be like the longest book in history, weirdly written)
What's more, guess what, I don't even know what to say but they tell me you get numb eventually. So people die. Yes. I have seen...yes. What else have I seen? I've seen people beg. They have dementia, and people with dementia really don't do well in hospitals (they do better at home, in familiar environments) and they beg to let us go home, but the situation is usually either 1. Their family doesn't want them back or 2. We really need to keep them for a few days at least to monitor after the surgery.
So they beg. And some of them calm down if you talk to them, but some of them get more agitated because we're all strangers after all.
What else have I seen? I've seen people demand things, people get angry, people be stubborn, people shout and curse and ask for more drugs, people act just a little bit clinically crazy.
All of us are developing eye bags on our eye bags, and we're just 1-2 months in. This can be a really lonely place to work, but there are good times as well.
I don't know. What have I seen? I've seen people use and abuse power. I've seen people so tired they really don't care any more. I've seen people who can't manage themselves take it out on others.
I've seen kind people. I've seen so many kind people. And I think that we're all we have to keep our faith in humanity going. Us and the random people outside, who don't know how bad and ugly it can get.
It's ok. It's ok. It's all going to be ok. I'm ok. I can do this.