"Wouldn't it be easier to not be so nice? Life would be so much easier."

"Yeah, I guess so." 

I didn't mean to annoy you (sometimes people ask questions to start arguments, don't you think? Or at least debate and discussion. In these cases, agreeing is just you saying 'I don't care'. And that pisses people off. But that's not what I was trying to do.)

Because, yeah, if I was 'less nice' - if I could snarl and order other people to do things, frighten them and impose my will, then yes, things would go more smoothly. I wouldn't have to plead for scans, I could just bark a few angry words. 

If I could snap back when people try power plays on me, when they try to make me look bad or make me look stupid - then they wouldn't do it again, would they? There are people who see me as someone who can be taken advantage of, and act accordingly. 

But I think the question is not 'How can I change in order to live more easily?' but rather 'What kind of life do I want? What kind of person do I want to be?'

So, you are indeed correct. I could, I suppose, learn to be mean and nasty, although it kind of runs against my grain. And it's not as though I don't have my snarly moments, when I want to rip paper and punch walls; obviously there are people and behaviours that infuriate me. Obviously I have lost my temper before. 

And I know it's easy to talk big now, before the storm. But I want to promise myself that no matter how infuriated I get, no matter how unfair the situation or cruel the opposition, I don't want to shout. I don't want to lose myself. I have people I look up to and aspire to be like. I value personal growth greatly. I don't want to let some lowlife(s) make me stray off the path of who I want to become. 

Not once. No matter how bad it gets (and I know it gets bad). Not that I aspire to be a pushover. I will learn to draw the line with a smile. I figure that even if the environment doesn't accept my way, I can adapt and find a way that works, that is still 'me'. 

I learned not too long ago that how other people react to what I do is more them than me. So I am going to live my way.