I said, I know I love my parents, and I know I love my friends, but I'm not sure what love is in a romantic context. 

But I know that I love you. I have for a quite a long time. It's always been somewhat at arm's length, because maybe we didn't want to change whatever we had. But anyway. Let me list out what this love means, for me: 

1.    You make me want to be a better person. I don't feel small or inadequate beside you, I just want to be better. I want to live out a full and rich life, and during the time we're together, I want the colors of that life beside the colors of yours. I don't want, or feel the need, to impress you. You simply make me want to be better. Maybe I'll be able to explain this properly one day. 

2.    I want you to be happy. I would be glad if that life included me, but if it doesn't, that is okay. From the bottom of my heart. Please be happy and live a good life. 

3.    You have always made the world seem a better place, because it has you. 

4.    I know that love isn't about superficial things, like opening doors or buying chocolates or saying 'I love you'. So I feel silly saying this. But it's true - I love it when a smile breaks across your face. 

5.    I love how much fun I have when we spend time together. I always learn new things, even if it's something like you can request someone to replicate a Rembrandt for $600. 

6.    Can I make a list of the superficial things I feel for you, like: 

> I like your cologne

> And the way you can't sustain eye contact sometimes 

> It was nice when you gave me compliments, although it was about my cupid's bow

> It's dumb but I like that you never, ever let me pay. 

> And you don't let me bump into people/ people bump into me

> You're good at knowing when I want something but don't ask for it

> You dress up nice 

> And have a great sense of humor 

> You take the heat of social situations. All those awkward sentences that must be said to smooth the social fabric, you step forward for those so I can just chill. 

Thank you for taking care of me when I was at one of the lowest points of my life, and doing a lot of things I'm not proud of. I'm sure you knew. Thank you for not judging, not condemning, and staying quietly with me. Thank you for driving me home at 10pm to grab my stuff, and back again. Thank you for sitting there while I cried into the sweater you gave me. Thank you for relying on me sometimes. And thank you for telling me that you were grateful for my presence as well. Thanks for inviting me to church! One of those girls did not like me at all. Thanks for teaching me how to reduce a shoulder dislocation. And I guess, thanks for being a part of my life. Will always be grateful.