How to be an adult guidebook

 Thinking about what was in my How to be an adult guidebook. 

1. Always identify the risk, your exposure to risk, and how to limit it. 

This was from my dad. He always picked out the 'bad consequences' from my choices. This practice allowed me to see the things I was exposing myself to, so I could make an informed choice. I do it myself these days. It's not doomsdaying, I think, but just understanding and managing risk. 

2. Make connections. 

Yeah yeah. I'm not great at it. It feels too inauthentic. But I understand. 

3. When you are at the table, behave yourself. 

It doesn't matter if you just had a shouting match in the car, doesn't matter if your personal life is in shambles. When you are at the table with anyone other than immediate family, you behave. You try to let others have a pleasant time, at least. You make small talk. You appear interested, even if you don't give a shit. This skill comes in useful outside of the table too, like when I'm stuck in the lift with a mentor or I'm in an otherwise awkward situation. 

4. Money was not in my guidebook (other than 'save money'), but I wish it was. 

I'll still put it here because I think it's essential How to be an adult information. People never really discussed this with me, saying I should let my future husband settle it. But it shouldn't be left to someone else. Financial independence is a crucial pillar of personal independence, and being clueless here leaves you open to being taken advantage of, or being placed in a situation of dependence. I wrote this chapter of the book myself, and it did not/should not have had to be that way.

5. Shit will happen.

Shit always happens. Part of growing up is experiencing more and more things go to shit, from people dying, to your body failing you sometimes, being stabbed in the back, making terrible choices. The longer you live the more of such things you experience, and maybe that's where wisdom comes from - the knowledge that shit always happens, and learning to deal with it. Importantly, learning how to come through with others, not just yourself. This chapter, life wrote for me.