There was a time when I would talk and talk and then blurt out - "but why was I born?" 

There was a time where I would type, Please tell me there is an end to this pain. 

There was a time when I wanted nothing more than warmth. 

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I think I've learned a valuable lesson. 

That is, being firm with certain needs is how I keep the things important to me. Because no matter how much I think I can let things slide, it turns out, I'm only human. I can't. And if I can't let things slide for long enough, eventually my important things become unendurable, and I have to take a step back. 

Jim Rohn said the famous quote, I take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me. 

I thought I understood what he meant then, but I think I get it a little better now. 

I'm giving up on nice altogether. You may have my compassion and empathy, but nice seems more and more ... a sort of double edged sword. It's hurting me too much. 

In the end, the answer to my pain question - yes, it ends. 

Why I was I born? I don't know, but I think I have a better idea of what I want to do with what fleeting moments, hours, I have left. 

I want to know the truth. I want to cup it in my hands. I want to bask in its warmth. I want something like that, and perhaps it's nowhere to be found.