There was a quote from Light Years, that's stuck with me for a long time. It was,

"The freedom she meant was self-conquest. It was not a natural state. It was meant only for those who would risk everything for it, who were aware that without it life is only appetites until the teeth are gone." 

It resurfaces occasionally, before retreating quietly back to itself. Obliquely it's connected to something else that I've been thinking about, which is the much-heard advice that in order to grow, we have to be uncomfortable.

The idea that in order to improve, we have to do things we find challenging, until one day we don't find it difficult any more - and then we find something harder, reach higher. And in that way we grow.

But is the only way to grow, to be uncomfortable? And is this discomfort any different from pain and suffering? 

Some people might say it's a matter of perspective, whether something is discomfort, or if it's pain. 

But pain is pain, isn't it? Running sure is painful. 

I remember once I said, the only difference between a goal and a punishment, is one is pain with meaning, and the other is pain without. 

I guess I don't bother too much, because I've learnt that leaving it as a background hum is enough for life to - eventually - show us the answer. As years pass, we'll even get to see different facets of the answer...or what we think the answer is anyway. I guess that's alright. That's fine.