Kick off my socks. Start some music. Read some manga.

These are the balms to cover up the cracks from the day.

Because, some things are so gross they make my fingers curl

Some things, so sad I have to look away.

Some things so scary, now I know my voice can tremble like a leaf in the wind. Watching blood pressure drop from 80 to unrecordable in five minutes.

Some things make me so angry, I want to hurt something. Hurt someone. This always ends up making me feel dirty.


Is there anything good about this? Anything?

Maybe seeing people not panic in the face of death - literally - and learning from that?

Maybe becoming someone who can be of use in certain types of emergencies?

Maybe learning about the various aspects of life in this weird, protected bubble.

Maybe just, I don't know. Maybe there's no real need to force a positive out at the moment.

Maybe I just need to go to sleep, wake up tomorrow, and try to survive