Monday, May 28, 2018

And here's the other thing. After my "I have something unique and have so much to offer the world omg I'm freaking awesome" outburst...

So how much does it matter how others see us vs how we see ourselves? I want to understand this better, but I'm not sure where to start. You could say that the better someone knows us, the more their image of us should match our image of ourselves, and vice versa. But is that true? Hmm.

There's this technique called the Johari Window:


It's pretty self-explanatory: so everyone has an Arena, a Facade, a Blind Spot and the Unknown.

I'm not (really not) trying to get at 'I think I'm awesome but the world doesn't' right now, really, absolutely, no. Besides where I'm in now doesn't care much for the qualities I think are awesome, which is to say...nevermind.

But thinking back, the adjectives people use to describe me (people like primary/secondary/JC friends, the army ppl writing goodbye notes etc) are usually: cheerful, bubbly, enthusiastic, optimistic, good listener.

So, uh...

Maybe they just haven't seen me in a bad mood yet. What's this cheerful bubbly nonsense? I mean yeah I smile like a normal human and...wait, I'm getting confused.

'Cause yesterday one of our neighbours (who's never talked to me before) struck up conversation with my mom and I, and based on my hair (poofy) and smile told me I look 'kai lang' which either means cheerful or some chinese vegetable.

And people always tell me that, but based on my hair? And people always tell me that but...what? Impossible. What is going on here? I need to show my bad mood more so there are no misunderstandings.

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