I'm tough now

Was just using headspace on a lazy morning some days ago. They did a short video on legacies. What legacy would you like to leave behind? 

I've thought about this sometimes... 

Chasing money is one thing, and I agree that it's better to have money than not, but standing at 50 surrounded by financial achievements and nothing else seems too empty. 

I know what I want, but what do I want to leave behind? 

 

One thing my student years did not prepare me for was how women are still treated like lesser beings. And maybe it's good I was not prepared, because when I finally encountered this treatment I was at first bewildered - did I do something wrong? - and for a few years I doubted myself, doubted what I said and did and even what I thought. 

I kept quiet. I watched and I listened. I saw that chairmen and members in meetings would say things that I was thinking (Oh, so he thought that too). I learned that my analyses were on point.  

So sometimes when people dismiss what I say, I don't tell myself I'm stupid; sometimes I am dismissed because I am a woman. 

Obviously I make mistakes as well, and take responsibility for those. But a lot of the time, my words are set aside because I'm the one saying them. That's true, unfortunately, because there have been times a man later said exactly what I said, and his recommendations went through. 

So I would like to make life a bit better for women. I would like women to stand up for each other and support each other, instead of laugh at men's sex jokes because we need to work with this man and therefore think we need to laugh so that he doesn't get 'offended'. 

I would like to help more women get an education. I would like a bit more gender equality in the world. I would like for fewer girl-women to go through what I did, and doubt their intelligence and basic 'rightness' as a human being, because they were pushed around and their words brushed away like flies. Like the countless women whose effort allowed me to have an education and a chance today, I want to help the next generations. 

That's the legacy I want to leave behind. 

And look, I've made it this far. I'm still standing. I'm speaking up, and when you tell me 'that's not important', I can say 'well, that's a MOH guideline so maybe you should know that this is not in alignment with MOH guidelines' (god, always having to justify..) 

Look. I'm tough now. I'm going up, and I'm bringing a fuckton of women with me.