I was watching Our Beloved Summer on Netflix and one of the main protagonists said something along the lines of, I was desperate for some comfort away from reality. And he was that comfort. 

I am now, years later, just barely strong enough to take the hits as they come. To look into the abyss before my eyes. To confront my loneliness, the 'why am I here'. To face the demons, let them go, and continue on. 

I have recovered, just enough. I want to do the right things for me now.