Sometimes when I have to work my chaotic thoughts into some semblance of order, or tease out meaning amongst the feelings;….or at least find some form of clarity - I write. I play some music, the kind that magnifies feelings, makes them burst forth and run into my veins. And I write.

I suppose, as much as I value clarity, there are also times when I value abstruse connections, ineffable feelings, unspeakable thoughts. I feel these make up the magic brew which tastes like intuition, which...I've always taken for granted. I suppose I could start to learn to tune it better, because I think it has important things to tell me.

But right now, I suppose... I can say that I value honesty. I value trust.

I value a life well lived, and the courage to live that life.

There are many other things important to me as well, more selfish than not. However, when I talk deeply with people I respect, these are not the things which we talk about. These are not the things that truly matter.

I don't know why or how I am the way that I am. I also, thereby, am not quite sure how to grow in accordance to what I respect and want for myself. All I can be sure of is that I am thankful to the teachers whose words have echoed for years, whose (dare I say) love watered the right seeds.