Monday, January 29, 2018

losing it

"Do people really wake up in the morning and live their lives without ever wondering why they're here and where they're going? Do they really not look at their lives and wonder if they're doing the right thing?

"When I was in primary school I used to think that everyone was like me, but just didn't show it. It's only recently that I realized they're not like me, that most people don't examine their lives and wonder what the hell they're doing here on earth and what they want to do in the future.

"Is that true? Are most people actually like that, or does everyone have moments like - like lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, having no energy to go to school but going anyway because from experience if I don't go I'll just lie there all day."

"I suppose most people are concentrating on our upcoming exam and not thinking much beyond that."

But it never ends, does it? There will always be more exams, more tests, more 'big events' coming up, breathing down our necks. Even after this. Right? It's so bloody obvious.

Life isn't - shouldn't - be about trying to get over the next hurdle. Because if that's all we're focused on, we'll be jumping hoops till we're sixty, by which time the hoops are smaller and spaced further which time the hoops don't matter much at all. And if we've never looked up till then, if that's the first time we're looking around, then we may or may not get a huge shock. Hoops are just hoops. These obstacles don't owe us anything. Exams and evaluations don't care about our lives or happiness. They lead wherever they want, and we might end up someplace we don't even like.

This is so beyond obvious that all my words died and I just sat there in silence. I really had nothing to say.

Camila Cabello - real friends

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