Friday, April 21, 2017

I'm an idealist mostly (which can mean idiot) so I should start with a realistic statement: people argue, get upset at small things, and snap at people they love. Heck, there's me and my parents.

However, isn't it a treasure to meet people who love what you love, and laugh at the same jokes you do?

KL said we're 'so polite'; I think we're just considerate of each other's feelings. And we like harmony. I have to remember that's not the way for everyone. And even if, with these people who share similar interests and sense of humor with me, we fight and snap and get upset, it's still amazing that in this huge world, we got to meet. I guess? Perhaps I'm just doing damage control in advance haha.

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I used to think Psych was easy. Probably because it was all so new, maybe I didn't understand so much. Maybe they didn't tell us so much. It's, uh, not easy. I didn't know the range of human behaviors was so huge ("People do that?"). It's disturbing. It makes me question what 'normal' is.

I remember saying before, if I had lived the life you lived and had the same experiences as you, would I act the way you do? Obviously. Yes. Most likely. The second thought that comes to mind is, was it impossible to add, amongst our chest of experiences and actions, things that would have made us better, wiser, more resilient, stronger?

The thought of improving ourselves doesn't come to everyone. The resources that come to mind are also very different amongst people. So perhaps the actions of picking up a book, googling certain things, finding out more—these aren't always instinctive, and that's why they aren't done. It's not that it's difficult, it's just that people don't think of it, because the people around them don't know or care, and so they don't, either.

Sometimes I wish that, before crises, people thought of these damage control things. For the future in a week, a month, a year, ten years...sometimes simple actions can have subtle but huge effects. Of course, talk is cheap. And I've had my share of coping poorly—very poorly—with stuff too. So as much as one human can understand another, I do understand.

So what's my job? (my job to be). To help. That's all. Not to judge. A certain textbook says 'to help with empathy, without judging, and disinterestedly (note not uninterestedly!)' It's just that, we're human too. Please don't shout or threaten. I know y'all can't help it sometimes. But, being human, we get headaches, we get panicked, we get sad and frustrated—we're just not supposed to show it. We're supposed to be professional. I hope I learn that skill before I graduate, because it's a fine line between becoming an unfeeling robot, and becoming someone who can handle crises with empathy. And if that makes no sense, you should come with me for a week.

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