As expected, in this world there are suckers like me.
I have to learn to toughen up. Not to be a mean person, but to be able to be a 'bad' person. I learnt a year ago that there's no point being nice and trying to get the world to like me—that's called being a hypocrite. That was when I decided to protect the things that I cared about, and leave alone the things that I didn't. And I realized that there were a lot of things and people in the world I didn't care about.
I know that we should have a basic level of empathy towards everyone. But there's a story in Fruits Basket about a traveller who entered a forest of demons. One asked the traveller for his ears, and he gave it. Another asked the traveller for his legs. The last asked the traveller for his eyes. All of them had a story: for my daughter, for my grandmother, for myself. And he gave it to all of them. Isn't there a line between compassion and utter foolishness?
At times people look at me askance because of my 'cute act'.
Goddamit it's not an act.