Saturday, February 18, 2017

What girls (probably) like and dislike

So before I start writing the list, I think I'd better put a disclaimer, which is that the list comprises my opinion of what behaviors girls like and dislike... so maybe it should be called what I like and dislike? But some of it is what I've heard my friends talk about, so...

Sooo, everyone is different and also people are fickle (okay girls are fickle) so don't take this too seriously! Also, the stuff I list isn't new, so maybe you can just laugh at my opinions/reasoning :P

Girls (probably) like these things:

1. When guys act like gentlemen. ie. Opening doors for us, standing on the side of the pavement closest to the road, sending us home. Sounds cliche, but it really counts for a lot. I guess it makes us feel like we're being cherished somehow. A Spanish dude told me in his country it's expected behavior (he holds doors open for his mom); I don't think it's expected here, but it sure is nice.

2. Compliments! Actually aren't people in general suckers for compliments?

3. When guys really pay attention to what we're saying. This may sound strange, but uh I guess we talk a lot... so if someone listens attentively, we do get that we've put their ears through a marathon and are really grateful (and maybe even silently promise not to babble so much next time). Even amongst girls (especially amongst girls?) we really appreciate friends who listen to us, particularly when we're feeling down or troubled.

4. Small surprises? I think most of us feel bad about making our significant other spend money on us; I think it's pretty common to go dutch at meals and not expect expensive gifts. Still, small things like buying us a cold drink on a hot day, or a cute text out of the blue make our hearts skip a beat :)

Oh this might be a little out of context, but the exception to going dutch is probably valentine's day? I didn't know this wasn't obvious but apparently it isn't: guys should pay on vday, no? It doesn't have to be an expensive meal, it's totally okay to spend ~$15/pax, but this is definitely not the day to go dutch.

5. Not so sure about this, but people are pretty careful about their personal space, right? If we're not comfortable with someone, we keep them out of our space, whether by subtly stepping back or putting a pole between us or something. On the other hand, if we're comfortable with someone, we don't mind if they stand close. And if we like them, being close enough to touch inadvertently probably makes us blush.

It's real creepy if someone we're not familiar with sidles up close, though. Real creepy.

6. Guys who are a little bit forceful. Or is that not the right word? Anyway, timid guys can totally be our friends, but probably not anything more than that. (I am so going to laugh when I read this when I'm 40. Or maybe cry.)

7. Being spoken up for.



Things girls (probably) don't like:

1. When guys are late. We have the excuses of putting on makeup and choosing clothes, and I'm sure guys have stuff that's just as important, like training for SEA games or something. But guys, if you're late, do apologize. (It goes both ways, but apparently some guys think they can be late and not apologize...no. Say sorry.)

2. Hearing our significant other talk about other girls. We don't appreciate hearing the person we like talk about other girls, especially if we only meet up once a week. So girls make up half the world's population (more or less)—how does one avoid speaking about them? I didn't mean it in the strictest sense, but hear the spirit of my words! Anyway, why would you date someone only to spend your time together talking about another girl?

3. When you get mad at us. Please, we're fragile... talk it out, but don't take out your temper on us.



There are a lot of things I don't understand, and even my list is pretty general and commonsensical. I think it's pretty easy to make a girl happy—small notes/gifts, compliments, paying attention to her? It's also easy to make her inadvertently sad I suppose. Okay I feel quite dumb now, but I want to be able to read this in ten years and reminisce about the young and naive days.

ps: new songs everywhere! Maroon five, Sam Hunt, ears in heaven.


Sam Hunt: body like a back road

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