Thursday, September 8, 2016


A lot of decisions I make are preceded by my mom's advice, regardless of whether or not I follow it. However, it seems that I should be standing on my own feet more - and she's asleep - so I tried to make some middling-tough ones without the benefit of a second POV. As usual, I'm at a loss.

On a different note, it seems to me that people, humans, have a pretty skewed way of dealing with difficult emotions. I'm talking about the times we have to give or receive difficult feedback, the times we wonder if we've done the right thing, the times we walk away from an encounter feeling small, or angry, or bewildered. So emotions like self-doubt, shame, rage, insignificance and others.

We've learnt hundreds of ways to distract ourselves from unbearable feelings, to bury or numb them. We learn them through watching others, by discovering these methods from a lack of better ones, and also by being told, or sold, these manners of coping.

Positive methods of coping are free, effective even over time, and well, they actually help. But I don't think - as a species - we're as familiar with them as we are with the unhelpful or even harmful variety. It's strange.

So about a year ago I wiki-ed this, and it came to mind again. (Yeah I wiki-ed, I'm still new to this life thing, just twenty years in...). I'll just list them down for future reference lol.

Positive coping strategies:

1. Anticipating what a difficult challenge is like, and preparing for how one is going to cope with it.

2. Seeking social support from others. Express emotions and communicate with people. Seek new activities.

3. Deriving meaning from the stressful experience.

4. Humour. Feel things to the fullest, but master them by turning it into pleasure and fun.

5. Value oneself. Have adequate nutrition, exercise and sleep, and maintain one's health.

I know, it's so dry isn't it? Personally I find the best way of coping is to concentrate on breathing. And then later, to reflect. I don't do that as often as I should (maybe I should list the negative methods of coping, which I tend to rely on more ._. )

I guess my thoughts today are... well. Life is actually very chaotic. There's chaos even when we (I?) do nothing at all. It depends on what's going on inside, not outside. And so I'm beginning, I guess, to understand the oft-repeated phrase "seeing clearly". I used to dismiss it. But right now it seems to be incontestably important. Maybe that's a reflection of life now, or a reflection of myself now.


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