Monday, November 9, 2015

Pickle

I had to swallow so much pride - I didn't know there was so much sitting there, coiled up, cool as hell, waiting to strike.

*

I use all my feelings, the burns and the blank frozen ice, for people I care about. Other people... they're like a passing breeze. And that's not how it should be; I'll try and discover more heart, enough to feel for everyone.

*

It lingers.

Is this right? Or wrong? I don't know if my values have ever been so tested before. Am I traditional or modern, and what does that even mean? How about this: I'm neither - I'm an individual - alright, so what are my standards?

Even deciding on an ice cream flavor is hard...

But then again, I know that once I decide, I can pull through. That was the way for my Tassie trip, and for some other stuff, yep.

So what are my standards? When do I say yes, and when no? Every choice is a tiny decision about who I am - and who I want to be. At the moment, I'm listening to my gut. When the time comes, will I also listen to it? I should, huh? Since my heart has been a pretty fickle pickle.

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