Do NOT ... I don't know. Do not do whatever sad faced thing you feel like doing right now, because you are much, much stronger than that. You can be weak as hell, but you can be strong. So don't whatever. Just don't.
Last night I was up thinking about how this posting (surgery) is like trying to keep my head above water, and failing.
Right now I think it's like flailing through rapids and trying not to die too badly. In one piece. I just wanna go in one piece lol.
Anyway, things seem a lot better somehow when I get resigned to the fact that we're just going to be bished and bashed up all over.