Just to clarify, I got home on friday to see my dad's shirt hanging loose on his frame. Let's just...let's just leave it at that. But all is well. Or for the best.
"It is demonstrable," said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles—thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings—and we have stockings. (...) Pigs were made to be eaten—therefore we eat pork all the year round. Consequently they who assert that all is well have said a foolish thing, they should have said all is for the best.
- Candide, by Voltaire
Just a little tongue-in-cheek.
We create rules and laws where there aren't any. We live with assumptions we don't question, because we take them for granted - thinking they're absolute, when they're cultural, social, familial - man-made.
The solution sounds easy, but really it's hard to question why we react this way to those words, why we think this way of those people; it's difficult both to ask, and to answer honestly.
It may be hard 'cause there's a tendency to expect better, to criticize ourselves. It's funny that we can stand on a high moral ground and berate ourselves for not being better or performing better. In fact, it's easier to expect ourselves to be wonderful and ideal; and a lot harder to accept that we are ourselves - a person who is great at some things, and not so great at others.
It doesn't mean, give up. It just means don't put yourself in a blender when you don't live up to your high moral standards, because that's a kind of ego, an 'I can be perfect'. The world's best at anything will be the first to tell you that they aren't perfect. Strive for better, (not a finishing line) but always be kind to yourself.
Go go go go yy.