Sunday, May 25, 2014

The best ice cream in the world ;d

Night life, chatting to random people, bellpeppers the size of two fists, drummers drummimg a storm in the square, cars parking on the sidewalk, trains running in the roads next to the pavement. Falafel, shnitzel, shwarma 500m max from each other.

Tel aviv:
Night life starts from the afternoon. Beach! Cafe after cafe for three streets, with all day breakfasts and beer.  Cars which honk at other cars for fun, but don't honk even at slow cyclists (and give them space to cycle!). Ice creammm.

I am sorry that I don't find clubbing and drinking fun. So what if people talk more? And no, I don't enjoy 'watching people get drunk' (quote an otherwise honestly decent person)

I'm sorry I get tired so fast and don't feel like talking once the sun starts to set. I'm sorry I don't care about so many things. I'm really sorry I don't like loud voices or high ones, after a while it puts me on edge and I avoid talking to them.

I'm not being sarcastic, I mean it. I'm apologetic to others and myself for all these things.

To tell the truth...Wanting to be with others and wanting to be alone, what does one do from there? Wishing people would leave me alone when I separate and do my own stuff, and wishing someone would talk to me when I'm lonely and circling in my own head, how does that work?

Yes, people never get all they want. YES, LIFE ISN'T JUST ABOUT ME. But I see no reason to humour mindless repetitive complaints or people who speak, purely really to hear their own voice.

I wish I truly enjoyed what so many other girls my age enjoyed. It would be easier, I would be part of the herd, things would be simplified.

It's more than that. It's my fault and I simply haven't changed. I don't want to be a mature person, I don't want to care about consequences, I want to be selfish and that comes tied in a package with pettiness.

What else can I say? :(

Laugh at the funny things, admire the opinions that are new but make sense and are upheld by the speaker, enjoy the moments when I'm alone and doing things I like, enjoying learning from other people. Remember to be grateful, to uphold the responsibilities I have taken. I can do that even if I'm immature and sometimes awful.