Saturday, April 26, 2014

this is what I think.

people who are searching for something have to be willing and able to handle the truth. because, beginning the journey - inevitably - with comparative innocence, the truth will also inevitably be harsher than expected.

thinking of it as something which will be revealed more as the strength of mind grows, is there a limit? or do those who seek it incessantly without rest eventually go mad?

although following that, it means that our understanding of things, events, life, will increase only as our mental fortitude grows in the ability to carry the weight of that understanding. I imply that the whole, of which we only perceive a portion we color to our own tastes, is inherently non-innocent (rather, say malevolent!)

well, my policy has always been to stay away. compared to many many others I retreat, and am so much further from knowledge and very much behind in the pursuit of it.

no one grows that way. none can learn like that..

and perhaps all things that are shallow do not need a mask. the least profound things can walk around naked. they need neither concealment nor defenses because they will never be misinterpreted, because they are untrue. in other words, am I saying that 'depth' and 'truth' are correlated? that perceiving things as simple is merely self-deception, so we can live more freely? well, what do you think?

I admit that 'truth' is a loaded word, overused, with a myriad of meanings - all and none, meaning something different to everyone. it's interesting what certain people (philosophists, huh) have to say about it, but no name dropping. no.

I think I see conflict in complexity, and then I make a hobby of avoiding it. but it's impossible to avoid turmoil, because I'm like this, human, with my own flaws. with my slips of the tongue, hurtful incidences, I'm the product of my environment but not solely a result of a cause, ie. the consequence of my upbringing; maybe a bit of both, and more - the gestalt that I believe is a human being!

I wanted to find that one thing - that one pure untouched thing - but I couldn't settle long enough to search. but I searched, and I haven't found it. It's slightly reassuring, the lack of Life Model Answers, actually. We can make mistakes.