Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I've never thought much of aphorisms. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Any port in a storm. They were always so terribly obvious (really terribly). More than their message I always thought the point of aphorisms was to sound witty, and the point of all wise sayings in general, was to sound, hmm, wise. 

But then - knowing without doing is not knowing. Or simply, to know is one thing, to apply is another. aaaahhhh. 

It's easy to know what is right, and know wise sayings, without knowing wisdom. And that sentence is exactly the sort of thing which I used to read and follow with a bit of thinking, then a silent duhhh. I thought knowing the meaning of wise sayings equated to having wisdom. 

I guess the difference is that now I realise they mean nothing. And I am, yes big surprise, not as wise as I thought, if at all. Unless I've experienced them, those words are little more than meaningless, a sort of split-second glimpse that's barely any sort of preparation at all. Or any sort of prelude. To a great and possibly tragic story. 

Because even if they mean nothing without experience, wise sayings (the short ones) are condensed pain, shame, exultation, compressed human stuff. The good ones don't have small stories behind them, and neither can a small story support understanding of them. 

So being a thrill-seeker (Sami!! Yes, the outrage I felt then has followed me till now, when I'm astonished you knew me so well.) might mean I'll have a lot of wisdom as I grow old (HAHA) or that I'll die young, and let's leave a third alternative hanging around which I can't think of yet. 

So, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I opened the door to find out that behind, is only a man. Just a man.

That's maybe scarier than the alternative. What does that say about me? What does that say about the Man? It's so much easier to believe what's behind is a monster! To have scared and troubled me so much - not male, but Man. So - I guess - hugs are in order. Hello Man, I hug you.

I know what to do, but I'm not wise in the ways of what I should do. Which is alright, because - and this is not an excuse to be an indecisive uncertain dolt -

Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom.