the results will come, or they won't.
why can't I connect? because I want to, too much. and I'm bad at it. 1+1=2; 2 means I cannot do it. but I won't believe that, or at least not for long.
"have you ever felt like you're waiting for something to end, but it never will?"
"what is it you're waiting for to end?"
cue silence. it's not really army life, or tiring training or painful training. in fact the pain part is quite fun sometimes. it's not just the wait for uni to begin, or for me to grow up enough to sort out my feelings and myself.
I'm waiting for all this noise and pain and hurt and trying to end. I'm waiting for this agony and boredom and emptiness to end. I want the fun and happiness to end, because they hurt too.
but it will never end. and when it does, it won't matter.