Wednesday, February 13, 2013

words are cheap, but sometimes they are all we have. isn't that sad?

I don't know why I stood outside instead of walking in. She wasn't horrible. I just couldn't. There was this swirling air full of eddies and shocks. I don't know her and she doesn't know me and this is the first time I have understood how people can hurt. Like...existential hurt. Just by being themselves. 

Ever felt like that before? (who am I asking LOL) When just being near to someone makes you feel as if little squares of yourself are falling out. 

It doesn't really matter. She was okay. 

I refuse to care. I refuse to care. It doesn't mean anything. I may be delusional or it may really be nothing. There's no way to know - and the funny thing is that no one knows. Except perhaps she does, and if so she's not worth my being bothered by. 

LOL. thinking about it that way sure does make me feel better. argh.