Wednesday, July 25, 2012

"Nevermind" - Taylor Swift

Let’s just go to the park and paddleboat alongside baby ducks. > w <

what was with that look on your face omg hahaha I have never seen it before, just so so so cute hahaha! awww :)) yeah yeah I'm actually smiling now hahaha ;D today was actually pretty fun, like just going around school catching whatever the teachers throw at us whee :D ohoh and thanking goodness for boss whenever we couldn't read the short form and he saves the day haha. missing jess D: lotsa hugs <3333 <333!!

discussing interesting things during lunch OMG I don't know how you answered :X 

feeling hopeless during chem mcq o.o thank you jess! thanked alr but I sort of understood how chem doesn't just need to be memory work. you have 100% potential to teach kids!! :D did I just self-niao. LOL! but thank you for going through those questions with me!!!! <3333

oh hahah almost-karaoke in LT5 ^^

I'm wasting time~ but I was serious, I do want what I told you I wanted. And I'll work hard for it too ^^ do your best!!!

gym today. haha. I hope there are no repercussions. not what I expected; go one circle and, well, I do be glad I did nothing after all.

and if from here onwards (or from the first line?) I start to sound like I'm mood-swinging, haha I think it depends on whatever song is playing! or maybe I'm mood-swinging today. idk~ 

hmmm actually, I think it's the song.

y'know the film-writing thing on emb, about relationships? it's interesting how everything is so interweaved with people around us, and then so entangled within ourselves..and this is something that so many many people have probably thought before; but don't. don't make me regret trusting you.  shh. and then there are some things that come more alive the more you talk about it.

there are some things that can be controlled; there are some things beyond the realm of any kind of capacity and hence, boundaries. containment. is this something completely out of male comprehension? of course not; sorry, I shan't spark off an inter-gender world war, I promise. but screw logic! you can't expect a person to have control over how she feels! I understand that feeling something doesn't mean we have to show it. but then isn't it a mark of how much someone trusts you, that she shows you those sides of her? I don't like it at all D< what you're arguing for. what you're trying to do. ps: I'm not talking about myself, obviously I have some issues with trust and talking, yes? no, don't bother, it's not outward anger.

I'm judging a relationship with my own immature views. it may be different from how the people actually living this feel, then that's all good, 'cause what matters most in the end is how the two halves feel. ahhduh. hahah.

but...why does it always come to that - win and lose, upper and lower hand...I'd spell it as 'manipulation', but maybe the less cruel word is war. 

and, to be a little more fair, (balance the essay, 4+2blahblahblahhh) why is it so...magnetic? how can it be so easy to spot someone in a teeming mass, as if a person can glow without actually being a lightbulb. haha. very funny. it's so frustrating. it's not fair, and it's so hard, and it's so scary and so guilty.

nevermind, I didn't come here to rant (oop. too late).

I clearly didn't come here to consolidate my thoughts either, so I'm sorry, really ): that whoever you are, you've just had to read such a tumbling post.

there are some things that are really very hard to keep in hold right now; these few days. it's like trying to grasp a hundred grains of sand exactly in one try. after awhile hands feel a little raw, and there's always a lingering sensation of loss and insubstantiality...and I would stand up and fling it all away in a fit of temper, but looking around I'm surrounded by a sea of sand, then a realization - the sand threw me. when I swung my hand out the sand threw me. sigh.

throw my hands up in the air sometimes~

that's it, time to do hypo :D should post more often, what a catharsis :P

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