my dage decided to tell my parents D:
well at least he got my permission first. so sunday the whole world is going to explode, just that it'll be in my house and everywhere else the sun will shine like normal. for all the people I've made concerned; I'm really sorry and also very very thankful for your concern and patience :))) okay this sounds weird.
and I'm damn scared
and even scarier is what if telling them makes no difference at all?
it feels like there's glass in my blood in my veins; even more than trying to explain that it's not entirely in my control, despite how unbelievable that would sound, how am I going to begin to explain that part of it is in my control, that I can stop, and obviously if I can but don't, it means that some part of me is screaming to go, go, go. how am I going to tell them that sometimes the part of me pulling the other side back is too small and too weak and no matter how much I train, that small part never gets stronger?
okay that's enough, any more and I'll really D':
I think this sunday thing has been freaking me out since yst. I can't quite concentrate on anything. except tkd 'cause the the coach freaking kicked me in the butt and attacked me with the target whenever I was too slow wttt. but my kicking reallly sucks omg D: what kind of black belt??? after A's I'm going to train them kicks!!!
and then there's this tiny disclaimer, that could we just laugh at lame stuff and talk about normal stuff and (y'know, just normal normal around) and fight the battles worth fighting. because in truth, when mine comes it (feels to me) like being stalked by a tiger in a ring. let's not get any spectators in there. but I'm holding out for even odds :P