now I can answer - 'if that happened, would you - would you be sad?'
yes. yes, I would.
but that just means I need to grow up. because I know the difference, and it's edged and sharp and can never be crossed.
little hints like dropped pennies, they're sparkling in unexpected places and do I pick them up? but the very fact that they're lying there on the ground, hidden behind and hidden under, means there's no point, really.
besides, I've been waiting so long for them to disappear like tiny shimmery myths. till it's nearly a conscious need to see them crumble.
so how could I pick them up - what would I do with them?
but yes, I would be sad, but shhh...I will grow up.