Saturday, November 26, 2011

huh || "The Other Side Of The Door" - Taylor Swift

I think joshua's right actually, that during wilson we're going to be witnessing arguments break out. however, I will not be one of them :P not even to joshua, arguments are reserved for upending water on him and assaulting him with michael jackson mugs. it's not my fault (well in truth, it's completely my fault, I think I'd be blameless for getting angry, but for actually letting my anger influence my actions, I am at fault) but my God he - is - so - AGH!! He knows all the right things to say, I swear, and he has decided to never say them. Or the normal ones, even. Somehow he manages to push all the wrong buttons without any hint of malicious intent. or he thinks he's just making jokes. jokes can hurt too D<

ON THE OTHER HAND. on the other hand it's his straightforward (clueless) honesty that's probably his best trait. ugh. praising him will kill brain cells. or my intestines will leap up and strangle my heart, or something.

today there was the non-existent table, after the mystery pavilion. can I say, I was really surprised when zhonghui answered my question so honestly. haha :D I didn't think that would happen!

and LOLLL it counted as a htht, yes, it did. what on earth do you guys think htht's are?? nyeh :P

'to avoid giving others pain' as a value sounds pretty duh but, huh. it's difficult. I just think you could really put yourself first, or consider other people less? being selfish is not that bad. we can deal. because selfish but nice people are still fine :D just kind of annoying sometimes hahahah.

c'mon, we've all gotta value ourselves!

okay, ugh, so cheesy.

no but really. It's important, to me anyway, that I can look in the mirror and feel fully accountable to the person looking back. I want to be able to like who I am, who I have become.

I want to be able to fly! wheee~ kidding. too scary hahah

And maybe I can't do that fully yet (face myself, not fly) but it's not that bad, currently it's more of a take your time, I kinda think you're going down the right path, go with your head held high! I'll wait.  thing ;)

And maybe values don't mean a thing in the real world, or in desperate situations. maybe we'll find out if we're ever in a situation where we have to choose either survival or ethics. if you choose the latter, is there any point sticking to your morals if you end up buried six feet deep? but if you choose the former, will you be able to live with yourself after that :/

we're human and we make mistakes (thank you) but it feels just a bit irresponsible to live action-and-reaction without doing our best to understand ourselves and make the best decisions possible. I feel like, even if I just heck care everyone, I'd owe it most to myself.

enough with the ruminations. too bad if this bored you, but I needed to get it off my chest, kinda~

hahhah oh and I never thought of hierarchy in terms of prominence before. that works, but you can be prominent, at the top, but the most alone.

oh, and fine, I can insult you ceaselessly but you're a damn nice person. and that's probably an insult. because nice does not encompass you, does it? yeah, there's still horrible and clueless and asshole and thoughtful and compassionate and other gross stuff.

zzzz hahahaha omg this is a CONFLICT.

oh and mannn no one knows what durian thorns consist of! D: how on earth did spikes grow anyway?? isn't it kind of cool :DD

I want to try something :) :)

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