Thursday, June 2, 2011


going through our older tahan pictures to confirm some stuff and looking through pictures when

we had hair

I had long hair <3

I didn't cry


we were 9

and I can't help but wonder how tahan can give so much. I remember when junkiat was giving a motivational speech, to remember all the stuff we've been through and pain we've endured just to get to that one point. and I tried to remember. and before I knew it I was flooded with memories one by one overlapping each other and a different sort of tears that wouldn't fall came to my eyes.

I want to say I'll never let you guys down again. But I don't know if I can promise that, because sometimes something in me just seems to break.

I can promise that I'll start training damn hard, so I can be stronger. [as if we haven't already been training damn hard, but still..]


today was actually an awesome day :DDD

came to school a little late HAHA got to stop doing that. I live so close it's abit dumb how I can be late...ah well. settled some admin stuffs and then got to packing haversacks. zach told us minimum 20kg [for guys, 17 for me yay] and suddenly


zhong hui did 30++++!!!! Joshua also but when he weighed his haversack yanrui told him it was 20+ LOL. later then he realized and changed back to a more sane weight. like 26?! So we all ended up carrying 26, me 20. haha. damn dumb lah. we were sweating before we even got out of school!

took the rifle range shortcut to bth, it was pretty scenic. exploring bth was fun :D shall do it again sometime.


I know it's just for fun, and you do actually have some good opinions of me but - it's just kind of...bad, when you're so quick to spot my mistakes and announce them. teasing is ok, but then my limit now isn't how far the teasing goes, but rather how much of it I've had to endure. and going by that limit, I'm kind of being pulled thin so please. don't make me do this. It would be so much better if you could just be supportive when I've made a mistake and work together with me. rather than "ohmygod yingyue..." and going on and on about HOW I KEEP EFFING MESSING UP.


ARGHHH the worst part is you're actually a nice guy!? so I can't even be justified in getting mad with you, which btw doesn't stop me from getting mad at you!? HOW CAN YOU BE SO NICE, AND SO MEAN? do you like actually hate me or something? WHATEVER. yingyue DOES NOT CARE
I want to be an includer. mm :) we're all teammates aye and no we don't talk about anyone except - so just jump in :D I'll try harder lah. and at the same time I've been reading an interesting book, not everyone wants the same thing. must be mindful of that. and yet I'm pretty sure...JUST DO IT. yay nike.


thank you for all your support really...I want to hug you, I couldn't have done it without you. please please please stop worrying about some things, firstly we don't think of you that way, and about the second thing you just stop worrying ehh.

have a good time in malaysia!! hoho thanks for thinking about me enough to send that sms xD actually it's a bit confusing..I know, I should have settled this problem ages ago but I don't have the courage. I still want us to be friends.


we can talk about so many things so easily now it's scary.

make that cool



I have no idea what the others are thinking 'cause when I bring you up there's a weird silence. mm maybe they're more worried about what I'm thinking LOL.

regardless I still want you back. even though it's time to accept that it's not going to happen.

thank you for everything. thank you for your concern, your opinions, your sharp observations, your wry humour, your strength.

it's true, you know. your smile really does make you so much more handsome :)


ER. don't really know what you're thinking most of the time. surprisingly when you smile it makes people think you're genuinely happy about something, and it's a pretty true smile so it's like a shock [a good kind].

you're just too amazing, the way you push yourself. I want to learn from you, of your ability to just push yourself.


I don't wanna talk about you


sometimes I catch an interesting expression on your face. I wonder what it is?

thank you for your insane highness, your funny jokes, your caring and constant support.

on a side note, please don't get us killed in malaysia


and yay before I know it I've done a mini dedication, some with some things I've always wanted to say/very much want to say now, and some with plain bullshit that means not much at alll....not haha.

I can write a 30 page essay on everyone so I edited it down to the basics, which in the end really are nothing at all, because isn't it the little details that matter? :)

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