Thursday, May 26, 2011

resolution

HAHAHA I'm typing while listening to my long-overdue lit HBL on youtube. I really have to do it by today, or else mrk's gonna deduct marks from my block tests...ARGHHH. "The wind blew to dry the wet wheat...and pain, and death...and earth, and sky..." wow. It's so full of, uh, flowery stuff that I think I'm better off not listening.

I've decided that I'm not going to care anymore what you think, or what you try to do. Because, really, what am I scared of? What can you do to me? In fact, really, there's nothing you can do to me that I haven't already done to myself.

I've decided to be brave. Yay :) It's not going to be easy BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET IT BE SO EASY ANYMORE.

now let my conviction last till tomorrow. Please thank you.

Oh goodie I've gotten until the part D.H Lawrence falls in love. luuuuurve.

...okay, 5 mins later and I DON'T CARE WHAT WOMEN WERE TREATED LIKE THEN. I care what we're treated like now but who cares if they were disillusioned materialistic nags THEN as long as they aren't now...

oh.

okay.

fine, lit. you've made your point well done.

*musical interlude, some random woman singing some random song*

okay, and also. I'm graduation on saturday. That's just two days away. After everything, finally we're going to become tahanners, ready to climb gunung tahan :) I'm pretty happy with some stuff I've done, and the way I've handled some things but at the same time I'm not really okay with the way I've screwed a lot of other things up.

On G.Tahan there won't be second chances, and I can't keep allowing myself to make small mistakes. I've got to keep alert and keep going, keep looking out and keep fighting :D

Also something interesting my mom mentioned, about group dynamics and how we've really got to be careful about the way we're dealing with -. Actually the way we treat him. I didn't know how dangerous it was for all of us to complain about the same person, how that could become a habit and tear a hole in our teamwork. After hearing what she said I'm really, really ashamed of myself. Sometimes I can't help feeling irritated but it's better to talk, and discuss...instead of criticising pointlessly.

I guess. I didn't get half of what my mom said. Hmm.

oh crap the video just ended. oh well.

Haha yay apparently my pushups during physical selection were super standard :DDD I'm really happy!! I think we did really awesome for physical selection. REALLY awesome hehehe. mmm...graduation is coming up, injured people jiayou, sick people jiayoux2 and everyone else jiayous as well, it's our last training.

it's a little sad. I hope it's not going to be the end, only a crossing.

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