Monday, May 23, 2011

hurtful

I don't know what's wrong with you. Why you're turning so distant, icy, cold, why you're drawing me in one moment, and slamming me hard another.

I can't breathe today. I spent the whole day trying to breathe, trying to find an avenue for air rush in, trying to be Gudrun when it's impossible and all I can ever be is less than a Hermione, when even she has an arrogance, a power to control, a corpse-dead repellant attraction.

I've had enough. Really, I have. Perhaps I can't be self-sufficient, but I do know I won't last if I have to go through everyday what I went through today, so something has to change. I'm going to have to reset my priorities, and when I no longer feel like I'm under a rock, and leashed, and collared, then I'll have made done with this old problem.

On a brighter note! :D Some interesting stuff has happened lately hehehe what else could it be but TAHAN? HAHA. In the face of some, uh, surprising revelations I've had to reconsider some stuff.

Actually I was getting kind of confused. Thanks - for letting me talk it out and for listening so seriously, and so patiently. Thanks for answering me as best as you could, and really taking into consideration what I didn't say, as well as what I did say. It's really lifted me :) You're just amazing, really amazing, you give so much and take so little, I don't know how you do it. What drives you? What's your motivation? I'm really curious, but I'll have to find out for myself ;D

Haha it's not going to be so easy to just do whatever I want anymore, and it's also going to be a little - unfair. But I will consider what you said, and I'll...hehe.

YAYYY JUST A FEW MORE DAYS. A FEW MORE DAYS AND WE'RE GRADUATING. COME ON COME ON COME ON MAN WE CAN DO THIS!!

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