Friday, May 20, 2011

HOHO

it's 11.50pm and I really ought to be sleeping but I'm here sulking about getting LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE.

NO HAHAHAHA I didn't get into a fight with my parents! my mom got tired of waiting for me to come back from tkd and just went out and bought her dinner. which meant she's just eaten at 10++. omg...I really should inform my parents earlier when I'm coming home late ><

did 60 pushups and slept, 30sec lameass invisible chair and went downstairs and slept while waiting for my mom to come back. GOSH I'M DAMN CUI. I'm really really really scared I won't be able to handle tmr like this. I want to not go, because seriously, I felt like dropping at 30? O.O BUT WAIT. NO COMPLAINING.

haha yes. I'm feeling better! In the end tkd makes everything better (: thank you jiaxin!! Thank you for talking to me and being understanding, for being one of the only few girl perspectives in my life that keeps me sane. I can't connect with my girl classmates either because 1- I've been spending too much time around too many guys (every girl's dream, LOL), 2- my friends are all in physics class, while I TAKE LIT or 3- I spend all my free time in school sleeping <3

apparently I think too much, like really too much, and that's a bad thing. but hey, isn't it selfish to not think? It's doing other people a disservice, it's underestimating them and not giving them enough credit if I take everything simply...but to some extent, it's true, it's bad. I'll try and work on - haha, yes mr koh - balance. Thinking enough so I won't be harsh, but no more burying myself because...not just 'cause I'm too tired of it, but simply because I don't want to anymore.

OH I'VE GOT MY BLUE BELT. OFFICIALLY :DDD this is what amy got, I think!!!

hahaha, on a more serious note. tomorrow won't be easy. neither will wednesday, or next saturday and neither will monday. I'm going to believe in myself, and hear this, me:

I may cry

I may go slow

I may start hitting walls

I may start hugging random people

I may start doing all four at once which is going to be damn weird


but I will not give up. I won't give up. That's my promise to myself.

We all have our own reasons, insignificant or really important, for joining Tahan. But guess what, we don't need a reason to stay. Most reasons are shakeable if you drive down deep enough but there are some things that don't break. I'm believing in our blood sweat tears mosquito bites scars-screams-shaking legs-cramps-every-single-insane-thing-we've-gone-through.

I'll believe in us, and who needs a reason we've got US.

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