Monday, April 19, 2010

Suicide Club

Are you connected with yourself?

That's a question so twisted I don't even know where it comes from. I was watching Suicide Club, and boy. It's so gory I had to resort to scrolling down [yup, I'm a wuss] every time something gross happened, like a mother cutting up her hand in front of her child.

But despite all the scary bits and the orange blood spurting out, Suicide Club is actually a pretty good show. This coming from me, a girl who can't watch a ghost movie for longer than 5 minutes.

It kind of makes you think. About peer pressure in Japan, how in today's society the generation gap is becoming so large that the only language we share with our parents is that of television. Actually, after watching the first half of the show [I've got limited com time] I was contemplating it. While eating dinner.

It's pretty true. I can't talk to my dad so easily. It's just this awkward silence that I don't know how to fill, and in fact don't really want to fill. I'd say I was too tired, and that would be true, but even then I think it might be something else.

But 'are you connected to yourself'? Where did that come from? In the movie, the boy went on to say, 'even if you died, your connection with your wife would remain. So would your connection to your children.'

'But if you die, will you lose your connection to yourself?'

This goes into layers that are difficult to peel away.

There was once when I tried to find myself. I think I went too deep that time. I think I almost lost myself that time. Isn't it scary? That we can search so deep inside ourselves, that we can lose ourselves...within ourselves. that's almost insane.

What connection is he talking about? Perhaps he's talking about how much confidence we have in ourselves. About how much we understand ourselves. How much we can respect and live with ourselves.

When we die, what will be left? We're living in a world where the television influences us, the latest fads influence us, what about ourselves? What of us is left, what of our own desires and wants? What of our own thoughts and being?

When we die might we be more connected to ourselves than we are now?

Of course I'm not, let me emphasize, not promoting suicide. My god. That's downright scary. However, it does give us something to think about.

I'm going to link this to something a teacher once said.

'We're so plugged in to stuff. Our ipods, mp3's, listening to music, so afraid of silence that when we're not surrounded by friends to take it away we rely lastly on technology. You girls need to take some time to yourself. To find yourself. Listen to yourself, your own voice."

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